“We want a better life for our children.”
I wonder how many times this phrase has been spoken
by the various political candidates as the presidential
race goes into hyper-speed. Each time, I also wonder
what that means. I know I’ve said the same thing—I
too want a better life for my children. Or at least
I say I do. But what is it that I want to be better?
If
it means a safer, more physically comfortable one, one
without major life challenges, or without experiences
or want or hunger or thirst or poverty or risk-taking
or failure, we are setting ourselves and our children
up for disaster. It is those very challenges that develop
character and create better people.
You
may have heard about the nine-year-old New Haven, Connecticut
baseball player, Jericho Scott, who was recently told
he had to leave his league team because he pitched too
well. Rationale from the parents on the teams that inevitably
lost when they played Scott’s team went something
like this, “He’s too good. Our children
get discouraged when they have to play against someone
that good.” By the way, it was couched in terms
of safety—he might hit one of the children with
his 40 mph fastball. Note: he has yet to hit a child
with a wild pitch. But, of course he might.
Oh
my, how sad. So what happens when these children face
other obstacles in life where they are outmatched? Do
mommy and daddy insist that those other obstacles just
disappear so their little one never has to be discouraged?
Probably—all in the name of giving their children
a better life. Such a scenario guarantees weak, unchallenged,
unmotivated children who do not know how to keep trying,
or how to get up again after failure and learn something
from it.
Many
bad things might happen, just as this talented youngster
might someday throw a wild pitch and end up bruising
the batter. Do we create a better life for our children
by protecting them from the things that might happen
or do we create a better life for them by equipping
them with wisdom and education and experiences that
will give them the resources to face life’s complications?
Of course, this is not always an “either/or”
situation. There are things we need to protect them
from in order to be good parents and grandparents and
caregivers. I would suggest, however, that to protect
them from failure, from feeling bad, from losing to
someone better or more skilled, from being hungry or
thirsty on occasion, from wanting something and not
getting it, from knowing that all living things must
die for the world to go on, will end up with a group
of young people with almost no internal equipment to
face their lives.
No
matter how much we wish to deny it, we live in a world
that seems full of random events. Hurricanes will form
during hurricane season—and some of the will land
in populated areas. Tornadoes, floods, volcanic eruptions,
even meteor strikes, cannot be controlled or avoided.
They happen. If nothing else, wild weather always reminds
us that our hope of controlling the world—or making
a perfect life for our children—is simply an illusion.
Instructions found in the Bible about rearing our children
insist that the best gift we give our children is the
gift of wisdom. In this way, the ‘better world”
is one in which they use that wisdom to face their hurricanes—or
better pitchers—and become stronger and more capable
in the process.
|