Often
when Christians observe the time of year we call Lent,
we intentionally give up something we normally enjoy in
order to enhance the important rigorous examination of
our souls that is called for here. Generally it is a favorite
food or perhaps some other habit, like too much TV. One
year I gave up playing computer solitaire, something I
will often do to relieve tension when I’m writing
or working on a message. That was an eye-opener, to be
sure.
This
year, I’m suggesting another possibility: that we
give up attitudes and ideas and dogmas that end up causing
harm to ourselves and others.
And
here’s a great place to start: let’s quit
listening to those who label every human quirk a “psychological
disorder” and then try to sell us expensive and
often dangerous drugs to “fix” it. Look at
this: According to psychologist Bruce Levine, a new “official
mental illness” entered the vocabulary of things
for which there is a drug which will fix it. That mental
illness is called Oppositional Defiant Disorder, “ODD”
for short. The definition? According to the American Psychiatric
Association, it is a “pattern of negativistic, hostile
and defiant behavior.” The official symptoms of
ODD include these things: “often actively defies
or refuses to comply with adult requests or rules”
and “often argues with adults.”
Oh
my. They just described about every teenager I’ve
ever met. And guess what? We can now drug them to complicity!
We can drag them down and drug them dumb. Wow—all
parenting problems solved by loading our teens with psychotropic
drugs. Now that’s progress. Think about it! No more
sleepless nights waiting for them to come home. All homework
assignments will be done on time, neatly ordered in bound
folders and sweetly handed to their teachers, hair will
always be at the proper length, bedrooms neat, no more
towels left on the floor, and with enough drugs, these
kids will probably start cooking dinner and cleaning up
afterward.
OK,
tongue out-of-cheek now. I’m appalled. Instead of
the “Stepford Wives” we now are going to have
the “Stepford Teens,” a group of nice, compliant
young people who will make no waves, never question authority,
and set their self-absorbed parents free to never have
to be concerned about them, or put an extreme amount of
energy into good parenting and possibly even cleaning
up their own acts for the sake of their families.
What
is the matter with us? Do we not know that those rebellious
teen-aged years often bring about powerful and glorious
creativity and birth new ideas? That young people must
push the boundaries around them as they begin to find
their own maturity and build their own inner resources
so they can enter adulthood somewhat tried and tested
and able to stand up for themselves? Do we wish to destroy
creative and critical thinking just so our lives are a
little easier?
I
reared one of those classic “ODD” boys. My
brother was also one, and so was his son. Yes, each of
them caused their parents and loved ones a lot of despair.
Can’t count the sleepless nights, the worry, and
the anger we all experienced when facing these intelligent,
creative minds who insisted on questioning everything,
including their parent’s authority. I’m grateful
we didn’t even have the option of dragging them
down by drugging them dumb.
Parenting
them did drain much, much energy and caused a lot of self-doubt.
It took a lot of help to get them through their teen years.
In despair, my parents sent my brother to live with his
grandparents for a while. My brother eventually sent his
son to live with my parents for a year. I hung onto my
son, but there were several other families that helped
rear him, just as I helped rear several other rebellious
sons from families where communication had gotten too
tense for emotional health.
They
all got through it. Sure, they left some scars in their
wake. I never have caught up on my sleep again! But who
ever said that parenting was easy? Where did we get this
idea that good child-rearing means our children walk compliantly
in lockstep? Is this really what God wants us to do as
Christian parents and grandparents? Or are we given the
holy responsibility to rear creative, vital, challenging
children who have the guts to question injustice and do
what they can to bring the world to rights again—to
bring about the will of God on earth—as it is in
heaven.
To
any teens who might possibly be reading this column, I
implore you: Do NOT let yourselves be talked into these
drugs. Fight for your lives, my young friends. The future
of the world is at stake—and I’m deadly serious
about this. And parents . . . maybe, just maybe, a little
repentance is in order. It’s time to step up to
the plate and take seriously your responsibility to rear
a healthy, secure, creative and defiant next generation.
They’ve got a big mess to clean up, and they need
clean minds and strong characters to do this. Don’t
drug them up and drag them down. Please.
