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I
recently heard about a movie named “Kids”
where, according to the reviewer, “a band of teen-agers
forages for sex, drugs, and booze on New York City streets.”
Daily, the kids drank and smoked, and grabbed the always
available fast food. The young people portrayed in this
movie were apparently not an underprivileged group.
Money was freely available. What they didn’t have,
and what particularly troubled the reviewer, was the
experience of regularly sitting down to a family meal.
Meals were the ordered on the whim without concern for
others. Each person ate in isolation. Without manners
or grace, they shoved the grease-laden food almost furtively
down their throats. This disturbing picture is becoming
way, way too common.
Residents
of this fast food nation of ours are rapidly discarding
the convention of the family meal. Food is grabbed on
the go, gobbled down in the car, eaten hurriedly at
sports events, or mindlessly in front of the TV, and
prepared so that no one has to encounter unfamiliar
food or something disliked. The family meal is on its
way out.
The
family meal: that time when everyone present
in a given household, and not necessarily related, sits
down in quietness and intentional conversation, eats
what has been prepared with gratefulness and good appetite,
and shares what is there, whether it be plenty or scarce.
The
family meal: the place where sharing and consideration
of others become visible graces. Food is served out
of common dishes, passed from person to person. One
person taking too much means someone sitting right next
to them may go without. It is where table manners are
caught by loving example and gentle correction.
The
family meal: the ideal time to celebrate our
humanness, learning from and listening to one another,
rather than acting like wild animals, grabbing first
what is available and slinking away when satisfied.
The
family meal: perhaps one of the most civilizing
forces in society, is being discarded in the name of
convenience and busyness. I’ve heard stories of
people being denied employment simply by the observance
of a lack of table manners. Weight gain plagues most
of us because food, instead of being savored and really
tasted at a given time and place and in the company
of others, is poured unthinkingly down our throats in
ever expanding quantities.
Much
religious observance centers on the meal. In Christianity,
the family meal has been codified in what is called
the Mass, the Eucharist, the Service of Holy Communion,
or The Lord’s Table, depending on the tradition.
No matter the name, each can be called “the holy
meal.” In each case, no matter what the tradition,
the meal is communal. It is never to be consumed alone.
There must always be at least two in attendance. No
matter how small a morsel of bread, or how tiny the
drop of liquid (wine or grape juice, again depending
on the tradition), those morsels are partaken thoughtfully
and gratefully in the presence of others.
This
is the place we intentionally encounter the living presence
of God. It is not to be entered into lightly. Again,
different traditions do this differently, but in the
United Methodist Church, the invitation to partake is
extended to all. We say, “Come . . . come to this
table that has been set for you. Lay down the many things
distracting you for a bit. Come, savor the love of God
and the grace given to you. Come, partake, receive.”
Ideally,
the family meal should reflect the holy meal. Come,
lay down the distractions. Come, savor the love that
prepared the food, whether it be simple bread and water,
or a feast fit for royalty. Come, eat with others and
listen to their hearts while offering your own.
The
re-engagement of that one act alone could turn our society
around. Let’s give it a try.
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