September 1 Krum Star
Article
"On Changing Light Bulbs"
This question has troubled
philosophers for years: How many Methodist women does
it take to change a light bulb? We now have a definitive
answer.
How do I know? Let me tell
you. It’s Monday night, August 21, 7:45 p.m. The
delightful open house for all the parents and children
in our well-regarded Children’s Day Out program
starting the next day is over. Naturally we’d had
a few facility issues—clogged air conditioner drain
causing a water leak, a dirty condenser causing it to
overheat and trip the circuit breaker, another problem
with the copier. All handled in one way or another. Just
one remaining concern: non-functioning fluorescent ceiling
lights in one of the children’s classrooms.
Four women here. Teresa Riggs,
CDO director, Johnna Shelton, CDO board chair, Patty Jackson,
Administrative Council chair, and me, your fearless but
mechanically challenged pastor. Three of us are significantly
ladder averse. But Patty has guts!!! Bravely she scaled
that ladder, released the latch, removed the old bulbs
and replaced them with new ones. Teresa firmly grasped
the ladder for her, as though by the very firmness of
this grasp, all would be well. Johnna intelligently called
up instructions to keep Patty informed of her progress.
I stood by, offering, I’m sure, great spiritual
guidance.
Finally all the new bulbs were
installed. Teresa flipped the switch as we waited with
anticipation to see light illumine the dark corners of
that room. Yes, we waited. And waited. And waited. The
darkness continued to prevail over the light. Back up
the ladder again, more fiddling, more hopes, and more
hopes dashed.
The door to the Fellowship
Hall opens, in strolls the rescuer, who shall remain the
unnamed spouse. In moments, the problem is solved (wrong
type bulbs). Suddenly, the light overcomes the darkness,
the correct number for new bulbs is established (F40 T12
CW) and now we have the answer to the long perplexing
question: How many Methodist women does it take to change
a light bulb? Four, as long as one of their husbands shows
up and actually does the work.
